Gromoglas (Russian, anonymous)
The ass appeared before the king
Of all the animals to bring
An odd request: "It may seem strange,
But I am asking for a change
Of my inherited old name,
Which causes me much pain and shame.
I swear, my lord, it is no fun
To be called 'ass' by everyone.
I'm sick and tired of this fact
And ask your majesty to act."
The lion said: "We deem it best
That you be granted your request,
For you are honest and you're tame
And do deserve a better name.
Henceforth no one may call you 'Ass';
You will be known as 'Gromoglas',
Which name we think a fitting choice:
It means in English 'Thunder-voice'".
The ass was proud of his new name –
He is elated with the same,
For no one calls him anymore
An 'ass' or 'donkey' as before.
But then, one day, it came to pass
That by coincidence he ass
Did overhear a conversation
The horse and ox had in relation
To sport, and how to jump the fence.
Despite the horse's common sense
His long and eloquent discourse
Failed to impress the ox. The horse
Losing his temper said: "Alas!
You are a stupid gromoglas!"+++
If we deserve it, then our name
Will bring us fame instead of shame,
But should we lose our reputation,
Then no amount of legislation
And paperwork to that effect
Can bring us honour and respect.